Let's Talk About Crocs

They terrify me, and I'll tell you why. In a sane world, this terrible scourge has overtaken the earth. Crocs are found everywhere, not only in dayglo colours, but also in supposedly more 'stylish', shades like beige. Make no mistake, they are BLOBS of FOAM.

Crocs make short people look shorter, fat people fatter, and cause the wearers to perform the 'walk of shame' - the uniquely flat-footed trudge only a croc can produce.

If these fugly creations can take over the world, brainwashing millions of people into thinking they look good, what else might we all be persuaded to believe?????????

Crocs are an abomination, some sort of punishment handed down to us by a higher being. When will people get the idea, that by all means mow the lawn in them, but do NOT - EVER leave the house in them.

We live in a wonderful world where we have so many rich choices in affordable footwear. Why would anyone choose to shorten their leg, broaden their foot, and reduce an elegant, willowy gait to that of a duck, when we can all afford the simplest sandal, made of environmentally friendly materials like leather, or cotton?

And the Crocs with SOCKS issue - what is this, Dr Seuss?......why, why why can't people understand a simple rule of dressing??? Socks are to be worn inside SHOES...they are not meant to be visible. They are a barrier to stop ones feet from sweating into ones shoes. They are not a shoe in themselves, and there is no point in wearing them as a sweat barrier if they are in holey footwear like Crocs.

Crocs in general offend me, simply because they were designed to be beach or garden wear. They are NOT in any way, shape or form, a shoe for public wear. It is simply laziness and sloppiness to wear crocs out of the yard, or further than 50 yards from the water. Same goes for speedos. More than 50 metres from the water, and they're just briefs. So, so wrong.

There are simple, basic rules for dressing. Follow them, and you can't go wrong. Dare to rock the boat, and you'll always wind up looking like a vegetarian budget tourist, on the lookout for the next campsite.

That is all.